Why Indian Television Needs a Hum Paanch?

Humour is a complicated vehicle to drive. One needs to maintain fine balance while carrying entertainment or a strong message. The danger of using humour as a catalyst to put forth a thought provoking point is that the whole message might get lost in the garb of comedy.  It usually takes a re-watch (although not a difficult proposition in case of a good comic entertainer) to unravel the layers that the maker had neatly tucked with the wit, which we missed the first time we saw it.

A very interesting recent blog post by a friend (Read here- http://30dayshathseptember.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/a-new-read-or-a-re-read/ ) puts a pertinent point whether our perception of a form of art changes with time and age as we revisit them. Is it the fact that we evolve or is it just that we forgot to dissect it clinically the first time around?

I feel it happens a lot in the case of comic genre. A classic example of this has been doing rounds across the circumference of my brain. I am referring to the cult comic show of the 90’s -Hum Paanch. For the benefit of those who haven’t seen the show, here’s some information on it –

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hum_Paanch_(TV_series)

 

I was a kid, who had the luxury of being exposed to cable television very early. I made full use of it and well, spent literally hours watching Television [which explains the absence of the sport bone in my body]. In addition to that, somehow the family was able to resist acting on the social norm of disconnecting cable connection during exams. So the blessing was perennial.

Hum Paanch was one of my favourite shows back then. The sheer novelty of a good sitcom [ after Dekh Bhai Dekh] and the eccentricity of the characters, backed with witty lines and even insane physical comedy of characters banging heads against the wall or the furniture, had me hooked on for a good dose of entertainment.

But now, in retrospect, when I dissect the whole premise of the show and the characters which were established, I have no second thoughts in touting HUM PAANCH as one of the most, if not the most, progressive show Indian Idiot Box has ever pulled out of its collection.

The show narrates the story of a middle class working man with a family of a wife and 5 daughters. His first wife passed away after the couple had 3 daughters. Albeit, the show described how the father is troubled by the pranks of his daughters, it strongly underlined the essence of a family as well. 

All the daughters in the show were high on the expression quotient, be it the eldest daughter’s work for a feminist cause or Sweety’s definition of the only purpose in her life being to marry Shah Rukh Khan. The characters were epitomes of candid expression of what they aspired. Their aspiration was fuelled by the support of their mother. The affection she bestowed on all her daughters was so true that a viewer who would have started following the show sometime in between would totally miss the fact that three of them were her step daughters. Contrast this, with the step mother’s association with nothing less than Satan in most popular culture representation.

What also stood out in the show is each of the daughters had a personality. While we see a deluge of shows these days, very few of them are characters who stand out in terms of a neat character sketch and having a personality trait. Most of them seem like the clone of some other character you might have seen in some other show on some other channel. Hum Paanch ensured that each daughter would be remembered for her individual characteristic traits, distinct and cleanly spaced out.

Coming to the most alluring part of the show which puts this in a bracket for me way above the board compared to others, is the relation Ashok Saraf’s character has with the photo frame of his dead wife [ played brilliantly by Priya Tendulkar]. This beautiful relationship surpasses the myriad romantic or intense dramatic couple stories we have seen. An absolutely simple thought, but it works on so many levels, answering so many complex questions about society and relationships. It shows how it is possible for a man to stay attached to his first wife but not at the expense of his love for his current life partner. At no point does the tone ring of infidelity, it just puts across how he feels blessed to have two wonderful women in his life and he has love to offer for both. This is a very sensitive issue and the show manages to show this fine balance with aplomb.

The show breaks the whole class based barrier where the daughter of the boss is shown to be a stout disciple of one of the daughters. This breaks down all societal conventions of different classes mingling only amongst their own herd and not with each other.

The show portrays a girl who just cannot identify with the mannerisms of a girl and finds herself identifying more with guys. She doesn’t suppress this thought and decides to act on it- she dresses like a boy and doesn’t even mind hanging out with goons.

The show has many nuances which are a source of great learning for the contemporary programming fellows. It’s good to showcase societal reality in storytelling, but it is an equally strong responsibility to pass on subtle messages of how we would like to paint our society to the current as well as the upcoming generation.

We need to micro manage people’s thoughts and break it down to smaller components instead of just parenthesizing them into good or evil. We all need and deserve something better.

Prepare to Retire

 

 

Classical conditioning is a practice which is conditioned in our thought process- sometimes subtly, but mostly with a brazen candour. Training is a chip which is embedded within our veins each time before we start on a new journey. It all starts off with a parent holding your hand to teach you how to walk, how to speak, what to eat, how to eat, how much to eat, what not to eat, where to eat, whom to eat with and all the other related eating activities apart from other not so important things.

Formal education is the apostle to prepare us for the bout of adorning our careers. To prove a clear point that what has been told to you all these years through education is futile and has no application in the real world, you are inducted and trained again for basic skill sets at workplace. A school of thought believes that these training modules are created to kill your swashbuckling instincts and just orient you to align with the processes. So you may garb your actions in the cloak of originality, but you are doing nothing more than just contributing to the processes.

Another school of thought agrees to disagree with this perspective. They claim that we have an innate penchant for comfort zones and these training modules are meant to ensure a smooth transition from your previous comfort zone and in the process build a new one where you have to ultimately reside for some part of the near future. Neat explanation indeed.

But where this training process goes horribly wrong is making us overtly dependent on it, so much that whenever we are looking at a transition facing us in our lives, we are looking at external sources to prepare for it. This is equally applicable in professional and personal lives which explains the booming business of books on interview preparations, self-improvement books and seminars, books on being a good parent, a good husband/wife and of course the perennial business of shrinks. It’s no more the stress months of annual appraisal, kids’ exam months which are high business generating leads for shrinks. They have been able to come up with a strategic business calendar to emphasize on stress points for each month of the year. After all, stress is round the corner, all you need to do is seek for it.

So after living a life of being conditioned for change, when an individual looks forward to the change of retirement, inevitably he/she ends up leaving a few loose ends in preparing for it. Some claim to have worked on the plan for years, others reassure themselves that they are mentally convinced and have a fall-back arrangement to battle the change. Some claim to have found an escape route to procrastinate answering the question, but the stark reality is they are just not prepared for it.

’40 tak note chaapo aur fir retirement’ is a line used in one of the recent movies which resonates the mantra of a modern day professional. The line of thought is clear: earn as much as possible till a certain age and then dedicate your life reaping the dividends of your hard work and spending time to nurture refined taste in your hobby. The sad part is this plan is no better than Government’s Five Year Plans. You know the problem, you have a plan to confront the macro challenges, but there is no attention paid to detailing. The variable of your personality changing is completely neglected.

The practical problems start off with shifting base to a new city, which in most cases is the native state where you belong. After absorbing the flavour of the culture of a specific region of this country, settling down in some other part is a daunting task. We proud ourselves in Unity in Diversity, but when the fundamental brick refuses to align itself, be rest assure the mansion is not going to be a sturdy one. The differences arise from ease of borrowing sugar to borrowing domestic help, from aligning evening walks to aligning frequency of thoughts, from inviting neighbours for tea to not inviting unnecessary attention of the ones not invited for tea in the first batch. The count is endless.

Men probably find it more difficult to adjust to this change as now their boisterous flamboyance is compromised. They usually are not as well connected to the realities of their own nest and always had a cave to run off to in the form of the outer world. Working women, because of the weight of expectations from the beginning, master the art of balancing both worlds. A small example can be the discomfort men face when left to manage the domestic help in the absence of the lady of the house. So you would find a man whose line in the CV boasted in block letters: Exquisite leadership skills with expertise in resource and people management, but now clearly struggling to brief the maid properly to cover each corner of the house while wiping the floor.

Neither will they be too vocal about the discomfort, nor will they immediately find an acknowledgement to accept this reality. Their response to this change would be to find some avenue to keep themselves busy by finding a task. Thus, you would find the car being cleaned, switchboards being examined, ration being ordered and delivered, plumber being beckoned, bank visits, municipality office visits, electricity office visits, society secretary office visits, propensity for tea/coffee all increase in frequency. After all a person who had henchmen throughout his life ready to follow orders just at the stroke of a finger, now find themselves to be all alone like a king dethroned and sent on an exile.

It is all a matter of acknowledging and appreciating the change within you. We are forced to recognize how our body changes with time and becomes susceptible to external forces. Somehow we refuse to acknowledge and notice the same when it comes to our mind. Losing span of control at work doesn’t mean you have to build one at home. The idea should be to let your mind go on a vacation to a destination which it has loved forever. It is important to figure out what makes you happy early in your life, so that if time was an excuse for not visiting that junction during working days, maybe now you can let your mind pack its bags from the routine and take off to the happy zone. You have spent enough years of your life becoming an example for others, maybe a few can be dedicated to create one for yourself.

 

 

 

  

The Red in Black & White

The comfort of cotton in the middle of a long voyage acts as an assurance of not losing control over the scheme of things. You hold it tight to drive away the evil forces and use it as a cloak with mystic magical powers to return to normalcy. But is the damage already done? Is there anything that can stop it from undertaking another peregrination? Moments are paintings which should be created not a tidy house that needs to be prepared.

Words fought like gladiators and only the ultimate warrior could walk out victorious from the arena. But now they seem to have undertaken hibernation in the Arctic pleading for a silent promise of never being asked to come back again to a world where they are considered snobbish brats rather than magnanimous apostles.

The pair of black and white that found a synchronous symphony when connected with their counterparts now finds a nonchalant lesson on nihilism.  The trance that was experienced in sitting down on a rocky terrain to create a nexus with the alter ego now is nothing more than an unwarranted spell which squanders the significance of the three sticks on the wall.

A cuboid looks at you with intent and an uncanny hypnotism, eventually succeeding to get all your attention.  The indefatigable grit finds its true nemesis. It refuses to bow down in defeat. But is truce each time any better? The pages seem to turn back to a panorama of skyscrapers hanging in the air. What was considered to be a talent that has to be nourished, is now a privilege to be kept for spare time.

The need for a delicious win has overtaken the will to play with the knives to create euphony. Symmetry as a bottom line is a profitable venture, but its sustainability will always be under the lens.If intersection was always for the good, no building would have gained an inch beyond the foundation.

The cotton has lost its edge. Maybe we trained it for the wrong mission. If only it could look within!!

 

 

 

ख्वाब को जब coffee पे बुलाया

एक विशेष सूचना: ये लेख चाय और कॉफी के बीच की परिचर्चा नही है. अगर आप चाहे, तो बेझिझक ख्वाबों को चाय का न्यौता दे सकते है.

एक और ज़रूरी विशेष सूचना: ये लेख एकदम काल्पनिक  है और यहाँ 'मैं' का इस्तेमाल  केवल लेखक की सहूलियत के लिए किया गया है। कृपया लेखक की मानसिक स्थिति और जीवन पे assumptions न बनाये!!


छुट्टी की सुबह अपनी करवट बदल ही रही थी कि एक छोटी सी भूल ने पूरे दिन का नक्शा ही बदल दिया. वो भूल Tughlaq के तांबे के सिक्कों जितनी बड़ी तो नही पर उससे कुछ कम भी नही थी. वोह भूल थी अलार्म क्लॉक को पिछली रात ऑफ करना भूल जाना. इसलिए सोने के पहले सुबह आराम से उठने की मीठी चाशनी पर नींबू का आचार गिरते देखना पड़ा.

अब जब नींद खुल ही गयी और दिन के सफ़र पे निकलना तय हो ही गया, तो सोचा कि कुछ नया किया जाए, भले ही ज़्यादा कुछ तूफ़ानी ना हो. फोन उठाया, नंबर घुमाया, एंगेज टोने आया, सर चक्राया, ख़यालों की लड़ी ने सताया, जल्द ही नया प्लान बनाया और आँख बंद कर, न्यौता तैयार कर, ख्वाब को कॉफी पे बुलाया.


पिछली मुलाक़ात को तो कुछ अरसा हो गया है पर खुद पर इतना भरोसा था कि ख्वाब बिल्कुल दुरुस्त हालत में, well toned  बॉडी के साथ आएगा.  ये आत्मविश्वास ही तो है जो मानता है की मैने अपने ख्वाब का पूरा ख़याल रखा है. जिस दिन से उसे देखा था बस उसका ही ख़याल बैठा रखा है. खैर, ख्वाब ने मेरा न्यौता स्वीकारा और कार्यक्रम निश्चित  हुआ.

कॉफी के साथ परोसने के लिए थाली  में समय और निश्चय सज़ा दिए. मुझे अच्छी तरह याद है कि पिछली मुलाकात में इनका खूब स्वाद उठाया था उसने और इस बार भी इन्ही की दरकार होगी. वैसे तब situation थोड़ी अलग थी, क्यूंकि ख्वाब अपने कुछ हमनाम दोस्तों के साथ आया था. बात तब थोड़ी बिगड़ गयी थी जब उनमे आपस में इस बात में बहस छिड़ गयी की असली ख्वाब वही है. एक ने तो ना जाने गाल पे किसी मार्क की भी बात की थी . पर ये सुबह एक नयी सुबह है, कॉफी का ब्रांड भी बदला है और चीनी मिट्टी की प्लेट भी.

इसे सच्ची  दोस्ती कहिए या सिर्फ़ एक इत्तेफ़ाक़, पर जैसे ही मैं तैयार था, ख्वाब साकार सामने सच खड़ा था.  हम गले मिले, हाल चाल पूछे पर ये देखकर बुरा लगा की वह काफ़ी out of shape था और आवाज़ भी काफ़ी कमज़ोर थी.  हमारी अगले कुछ देर की बात कुछ इस तरह थी:



ख्वाब: चाय पीने क्यू नही बुलाया? 'ख्वाब को जब चाय  पे बुलाया' ज़्यादा  बेहतर title लगता है.

मैं: तुमने फिर ‘एक विशेष सूचना’ को ignore मार दिया ना?  सिर्फ़ title  पढ़ना छोड़ दो अब तो.

ख्वाब: वैसे आज मेरी याद कैसे आ गयी? तुम्हारी नींद और तुम्हारे काम से जब से मेरा झगड़ा हुआ था, मैने सोचा की तुम्हारी हमारी  कहानी तो ख़त्म.

मैं: सोचा तो कई बार की तुम्हे बुलाऊं पर.....

ख्वाब: पर समय नही मिला? चिंता मत करो, तुम अकेले नही हो. तुम्हारे जैसे करोड़ों है जो अपने ख्वाबों को सिर्फ़ छुट्टी के दिन याद करते है पर कम्भ्क्त उस दिन भी नींद या movie का प्रोग्राम बन आता है.

( इस बात ने कुछ एहसास कराया. हर दिन ना जाने कुछ लोग तो ऐसे मिल ही जाते है, जिनके लिए मुह  फट होके बदतमीज़ी से बात करना बिल्कुल आम बात है, पर सच को सहजता से बोल पाने कहा मिलते है, ख्वाब आख़िरकार शायद इसीलिए सबसे बेहतर दोस्त होते है.)

मैं: याद इसीलिए आई क्यूंकि मिले हुए काफ़ी दिन हो गये थे और ये कहानी इतनी जल्दी ख़त्म नही होने वाली है.

ख्वाब: देखो ना तो मैं तुम्हारा soul हूँ ना ही alter ego. मैं बस तुम्हारे दिमाग़ की वो rare  सोच हूँ जिसे तुम्हारे दिल की भी हामी मिली है. मुझे नही पता की मैं तुम्हारे क्या काम आ सकता हूँ.

मैं: मन तो बावरा है, चाहता ही है सयानी भीड़ में तुम्हारा सयाना हाथ हो.

ख्वाब: फिल्मी कलियाँ खिलाना बंद नही करेगा !!

मैं: मैने खूब सोचा इस बारे में कि आख़िर गड़बड़ हुई कहा पे? मैं तो एक ऐसा शक़स हूँ जो अपने बारे में बिल्कुल निश्चित है, जानता है की उसे ज़िंदगी से क्या चाहिए. सबसे लड़के, सब कुछ हासिल करने का मानस और ढाड्स दोनो है. फिर हम दोनो इस journey में अंजान मुसाफिर कैसे बन गए ?

ख्वाब: पहले जो वादा किया है वो निभाओ. बातों की पहेलियाँ बाद में बुझायेँगे, पहले कॉफी पिलाओ.

मैं: फिल्मी !!!

[ बातों का सिलसिला थमा और शुरू हुआ कॉफी का aroma )

ख्वाब ( कॉफी का sip लेते हुए) : तुम्हे वो लास्ट टाइम का झगड़ा जो मेरे और मेरे दोस्तों के बीच में हुआ था, याद है?

मैं: हाँ 

ख्वाब: वो  झगड़ा हुमारे बीच का नही था, वो  तुम्हारा तुमसे झगड़ा था. हम सब तो बस तुम्हारे बताए हुए रास्ते पे चलते है. तुम्हारी  और मेरी equation खराब हुई क्यूंकि तुम बाकी चीज़ों में व्यस्त हो गये. काम, नये दोस्त, एक सेट रुटीन में ज़िंदगी जीना, खुद के लिए समय ना निकलना. अगर तुम अपने लिए ही समय नही निकलोगे, तो मेरा नंबर कैसे आएगा?

मैं: पर हर वीकेंड मैं वही तो करता हूँ जो मुझे पसंद है??

ख्वाब: हर वीकेंड तुम वो करते हो सबको खुश रखे, वो  तुम्हारी कई पसंदों में सिर्फ़ एक चीज़ है- सबको खुश रखना. उस बीच में अपनी गाड़ी अलग ही highway पकड़ चुकी है.



मैं:  छोड़ो ये सब बातें. आजकल तुम कर क्या रहे हो?

ख्वाब: फिलहाल तो बेरोज़गार हूँ. मैं हिन्दी सोप ओपेरा या फिर वो सरकारी स्कीम की तरह हूँ जिसकी  शुरुआत तो काफ़ी धुआँधार होती है, पर बीच में बनाने वाले भी purpose भूल जाते है और ऑडियेन्स भी. यहा पे दोनो तुम ही हो.

मैं : तो फिर गुज़ारा चलता कैसे है?

ख्वाब: गुज़ारा बस तुम्हारी गुजारिश के इंतेज़ार में हो ही जाता है. 

मैं: तुम तो एक सोच हो ना. एक दिमाग़ से दूसरे दिमाग़ तक का सफ़र तय करना क्या मुश्किल होगा?

ख्वाब: ये गजब बात की तुमने. अगर सोच को एक दिमाग़ से दूसरे तक इतनी आसानी से पहुँचाया जा सकता, तो दुनिया भर में इतना हंगामा कहाँ होता. लोगों की सोच एक दिशा में जा सकती है, पर एक नही हो सकती. ख्वाबों का सिलसिला तो और अलग है. हर दिमाग़ अपने ख्वाबों को लेकर बहुत possessive होता है.  इसलिए क्यूंकि मैं तुम्हारे दिमाग़ की उपज हूँ, अंत भी मेरा तुम्हारे दिमाग़ में ही होगा.

मैं: Scary thought. मैने वैसे कोशिश तो की ही की तुम अकेले ना रहो. मेरी hobbies से तुम्हारी दोस्ती करवाई भी थी. उसका क्या हुआ?

ख्वाब: You do act naive at times . हॉबी की दोस्ती habit से करवानी थी ताकि वो साथ में रहकर तुम्हे खुश रख सके. हॉबीस को ज़बरदस्ती ख्वाबों पे थोपना बिल्कुल समझदारी नही है. ना तुम्हारे पास इतना समय है ना इतनी clarity की इन दोनो का संगम हो सके.

मैं: यार तुम तो मेरी बजाने का ही मानस बनके आए हो. इतने दिन की खुन्नस निकल रही है क्या?

ख्वाब: प्राब्लम समय की है. दो मिनट तक मेरे चेहरे की तरफ ध्यान से देखो.



( मैं एकटक  दो मिनट तक ख्वाब को घूरता रहा. जो दिखा वो काफ़ी disturbing सीन था. ख्वाब अपना चेहरा बदलता जा रहा था. उसके इतने सारे चेहरे देखकर मैं समझ नही पाया की उसकी मदद कैसे करू)

मैं:  ये तुम्हारे साथ क्यू हो रहा है, मैं तुम्हारी मदद करू??

ख्वाब: ये मेरे साथ नही, तुम्हारे साथ हो रहा है. फिलहाल मदद की ज़रूरत तुम्हे है.

ये कहते ही ख्वाब गायब हो गया. मैंने अपने आप को अपने bed पे ही पाया .
मैं उठा, नींद की चादर समेटी और दिनचर्या के चक्रव्यूह में घुस गया. ये irony ही है कि मैं सच की तलाश अपने ख्वाब में कर रहा था. जल्द फिर मुलाकात होगी.





 

एंटरटेनमेंट… एंटरटेनमेंट…. एंटरटेनमेंट

"बेटा, अंकल आंटी को ज़रा वो poem   तो सुनाना जो टीचर ने आज क्लास में सिखाई है"

 अपने ज़िंदगी के पड़ाव में ये पल हम सब ने कभी ना कभी भुगते है जहाँ पर हमे एक ज़बरदस्ती का मंच दे दिया जाता था और बिन बुलाए दर्शक एकटक हमारी ओर देखते रहते थे।  माथे की  गंगोत्री जहाँ से पसीने की गंगा कानों के पीछे से बहते हुए अपना ही रास्ता पकड़ लेती थी, ज़बान और आवाज़ का अचानक से आँकड़ा छत्तीस का हो जाता था, दिल की धड़कनें राजधानी को मात  देने का लक्ष्य  लेकर निकल पड़ती और ज़हन में बस एक ही ख़याल आता की इन नन्हे कंधों  पर माता पिता ने दुनिया भर का बोझ डाल दिया । दिमाग़ में एकटक यही ख़याल रहता की  हम कोई ऍफ़ एम्   रेडियो के या टीवी के चॅनेल थोड़े ही है की जब मूड आया, मनोरंजन के लिए बुला लिया। हम तो वो  उम्दा कलाकार है जो अपने दर्शक भी खुद तय करते है और मंच भी।

बच्चों का जीवन कुछ चीज़ों में ही सिमटा रहता है। बचपन में जब पापा स्कूटर चलाए तो सामने खड़े होना, स्कूल टालने के लिए पेट दर्द का प्लान execute कर सफलता का परचम लहराना, शाम को डेढ़ दो घंटे क्रिकेट खेलना, सन्डे सुबह  ducktales , talespin  और फ्राइडे को alladin  देखना, किचन में डब्बों में छिपे लड्डूओं को treasure  हंट की तरह ढूंढ  निक।लना,  इन सब में एंटरटेनमेंट का फुल quota  पूरा हो जाता था । वैसे भी बच्चों की तरफ सब का ध्यान बिन बुलाए आ ही जाता है । रिश्तेदारों के घर जाने पर सब के लिए एंटरटेनमेंट का source  बच्चे ही बन जाते-  दादा दादी/नाना नानी की कहानियों को श्रोता मिल जाते, बाकी लोगों को गाल खीचने के रस का आनंद मिल जाता।

पर उमर जैसे जैसे बढ़ती है, हम में से कई मुख्य पात्र से हटकर,audience  की कुर्सी से चिपक कर बैठना ज़्यादा पसंद करने लगते है। इस परिस्थिति की विडम्बना यही है की लोगों का ध्यान खींचने की इच्छा सभी में है, पर जब सब का ध्यान हुमारी तरफ आ जाए, तो उसका करे क्या ये नही पता। फिर वापस पसीना अपनी यात्रा पे निकल पड़ता है।   मनोरंजन भी भगवान की तरह होता है, वो  ढूँदने से नही मिलता. वो तो हमारे भीतर और हमारे  आस पास ही समाया हुआ है, बस पारखी नज़र चाहिए मनोरंजन को देखकर पहचानने और समझने की। इतनी मगजमारी में न पड़ने की इच्छा की वजह से ही दर्शक की कुर्सी ज्यादा मनमोहक लगने लगती है या फिर भीड़ के अन्दर गुम होकर अलग से न दिखने की चतुर हरकत । 

आप कभी आदमियों का एक जमावड़ा देखे तो आप पाएँगे की उनके लिए मनोरंजन का source  कई पीढ़ियों से वही 4-5 चीज़ें है: भारत के प्रधानमंत्री और क्रिकेट टीम के कॅप्टन के फ़ैसलों की निंदा करना, अपने बॉस और बीवियों पर  लतीफे सुनाना  और अगली पीढ़ी की समझदारी पर सवाल उठाना । महफ़िल भले ही ऑफीस के बाद ड्रिंक्स की हो, बच्चों की बर्थडे  पार्टी,किसी रिश्तेदार की शादी या फिर कोई शोक सभा.. इन विषयों पर तो पंचायत बैठना निश्चित ही है ।

औरतों की परिचर्चा भी कुछ कम दिलचस्प नही होती है। उनके पास भी सुनने सुनाने के लिए काफ़ी कुछ रहता है। किस तरह उनके मियाँ की नौकरी अमरीका के प्रेसीडेंट से कुछ कम important  नही, किस तरह उनके बच्चों  के क्लास टेस्ट में आए दस  में से साढ़े सात  नंबर कठोर  संकल्प और परिश्रम का फल रहे , किस तरह सब्ज़ी वाला अपनी लाख कोशिशों के बावजूद दो रुपये extra  ऐंठने में उनसे चूक गया, किस तरह धीमी आँच में पकाकर और तेज पत्ता डालकर सब्जी  को अदभुत स्वाद दे दिया .. ये सारे विषय अपनी जगह हर परिचर्चा में किसी ना किसी तरह ढूंढ  ही लेते है।

मनोरंजन के अतरंगी पहलू नज़र आते है जब कोई मदिरापान  कर अपने ही रंग में आ जाता  है। आपने कई बंधुओं को drinking  session  के बाद कन्फेशन रूम में आते देखा होगा ।लड़खड़ाते ही सही पर कुछ वाक्य जैसे की "यार तू मेरा भाई है", "अपन मिलके दुनिया की बैंड बजा देंगे" या फिर "यार वो  लड़की ना जाने अपने आप को समझती क्या है। जितना भाव मैं देता हूँ, उतना भाव तो उसका आईना भी उसे नही देता होगा" अक्सर सुने जाते है । इन महफ़िलों में अगर कोई विरला बिना पिए रह गया तो भले ही  ही उसे इन सब दीवानों को संभालने का काम करना पड़ता है पर  ये सब बातें सुन उसकी शाम  एंटरटेनिंग हो जाती है।

Cinema हो या संगीत, TV हो या इंटरनेट पर सोशियल नेटवर्किंग साइट्स, मनोरंजन की दरकार सभी को किसी न किसी  दरवाज़े पर छोड़ ही जाती है। पर मनोरंजन की इस दुनिया में एक common सूत्र  होता है अपने अहम को संतुष्ट करना जिसे अँग्रेज़ी में ego  gratification  कहते है। बच्चों से पब्लिक में poem  बुलवाना हो या उन्हे ज़ी टीवी पर लिट्ल चॅंप बनवाना हो, अपने बॉस पर व्यंगय कसना हो या शादी में खड़े होकर दूल्हा दुल्हन को रेटिंग देना हो, तुलसी मिहिर के जीवन का हिस्सा बनना हो या फिर एमोशनल अत्याचार में बनते  बिखरते रिश्तों पे टिपण्णी  देना, इन सभी में हर बंधु के दिमाग़ में एक सोच common है  कि मैं इस मनोरंजन का दर्शक बनू पर  मुझे पात्र ना बनाया जाए। मैं सब पर  हंसू किंतु मुझ पे हँसा  ना जाए। मैं सबकी बेरोक टोक बात करू, पर मेरे पीठ पीछे  मेरी बात ना की जाए ( तारीफ़ हो तो किसी को कोई रोक टोक नही.. पीठ पीछे और पेट के आगे  हर जगह कीजिए)। गवर्नमेंट, क्रिकेट टीम, सिनेमा bashing और दूसरों के जीवन में मैं झांकु, पर मेरे जीवन के राज़ कोई ना जान पाए। एमोशनल अत्याचार है तो काफ़ी मनोरंजक, बस ये लायल्टी टेस्ट मुझ पे न  कराया जाए।

वैसे पुरानी यादों का और मनोरंजन का भी काफ़ी गहरा संबंध होता है। फोटोस हमे  बीतें लम्हों में टाइम मशीन की तरह ले जाते है। अमूमन कई बार देखा गया है की शादी हो या बर्थडे, कुछ  दिनों बाद तक तो जब भी घर पे कोई आए, उनके नसीब में वो  वीडियो देखना तो निश्चित ही है। कई बार ऐसा होता है की दूल्हा दुल्हन खुद तो वीडियो नही देखते पर उनके मम्मी पापा शादी का पूरा कारवाँ बार बार अपने हर मेहमान के लिए प्ले करते है।उनके लिए भले ही ये गर्व से भरा moment , खर्चे की एक एक डीटेल बताने का मौका और पूरी शादी में जुगाड़ और intelligence  का जो ताल मेल बैठाया है उसकी कहानी बार बार दोहराने का समय हो  पर लोग ये नही समझ पाते की मेहमानों का interest पूरे एल्बम  या वीडियो में सिर्फ़ दो तीन  जगहों पे रहता है:   या तो जब पकवान दिखाए जाए या फिर cameraman  ने उनपे focus  किया हो। बाकी पूरा टाइम तो वो मेहमान किसी  तरह बच निकालने की फिराक़ में होता है।

जैसे की पहले मैने कहा था, मनोरंजन तो खुदा की तरह है -हर जगह मिल सकता है,  बस नज़र चाहिए और इस पर बातचीत भी घंटों तक की जा सकती है ।आप तो बस अपने दिल का रिमोट उठाइए, उसकी गिटार का वॉल्यूम बढ़ाइए और एंटरटेनमेंट में मदमस्त हो जाइए। आखिर मनोरंजन के वो कुछ पल ही तो किसी तरह सूत्रधार बने सब को जोड़े हुए है । तो फिर Entertainment  शुरू किया जाए... 

Laugh out Loud

The concept of a laughter club has always amused me. I would have loved to witness their theatrics as a spectator if only my overenthusiastic passion for a prolonged sleep in the morning didn’t spoil my plans.

For those who don’t know, here there are a bunch of people who wake up early in the morning, assemble and decide- Let’s laugh. If you think of it, it is actually a very profound thought, something which has been propagated through the age old adages like Laughter is the best medicine. Thus, each morning people crack jokes ( or do they??) and then burst out into loud laughter which scares the hell out of some species on this planet for sure. The sheer synchronization of their symphony can give Yanni’s troupe a run for their money. I don’t know if it’s the exercise of the jaw muscles with the laugh or finally finding an outlet to let things out of the system that gives them a kick, but there is a solid claim that it works and being responsible citizens of the world’s largest democracy, I respect the opinion.

So why is this whole fuss about humour and laughter so crucial in our lives? Would life be really mundane if there is absence of humour from our lives? I know the answer would be a resounding YES, but the fact of the matter here is do we really understand humour? Do we understand the difference between funny and making fun of others? I believe the topic is open for the house to debate.

Humour as a concept in itself is very tricky. It is like taste in food. Everyone thinks of themselves as a gourmet who has the taste for only the most refined and evolved stuff, but they all forget that there is something called as the taste bud which is different for different people. The same analogy can be extended to humour as well where different people have different funny bones. Each one thinks that their funny bone is strong and well nurtured, but the real test comes when the joke is on you. That’s when one clearly hears the funny bone crackling, with the added effect of cringe on the face and a highly defensive or offended body language. Thus we commonly come across the ‘your joke was not really in good taste’.

But some jokes are truly not in good taste, especially when they have been overdone for years. Stereotyped humour comes to my mind when I still see the same run of the mill jokes on fat people. They are still the butt of many jokes in popular culture, be it television or movies. Stereotyping is clearly visible even in community jokes on South Indians, Gorkhas and Bengalis, mostly with reference to their accent. To top it all, we still haven’t got over the Sardar jokes. I wonder if this is the best we can do in terms of humour. How can these things still be funny? Some who refuse to belong to this category resort to the Russell Peters humour which to me is no different, only the audience is global. Again maybe a matter open to debate.

Like popular culture, even social circles have stereotyped forms of humour. Most common of them are the ‘ let’s make fun of our respective wives’ jokes. It seems to be like an acceptance test that men have to pass before they belong to the community. The jokes on how men are scared of their wives and how their lives have been traumatized by their wives have been going on for ages and see no sign to pause in the near future. This might be a reason for a counter offensive strategy devised by the womenfolk to enter into their entertainment zone of gossiping. It’s all about finding the style that suits you the best.

Something we all don’t see very often is people getting into good self deprecating humour which can be used as a very powerful tool to gel with people and break the ice. This, if done in the right way, has immense potential to not only put people at ease but lead to a lot of positive energy in terms of introspection.

Now that we have dwelled quite a bit into the ‘what makes you laugh’ an equally pressing question is ‘how you laugh’. Subtlety in the laugh is considered to be the order of the day. If you can laugh with just the right breadth of spread lips, just the right number of teeth on display and just the right size of the dimples [ not applicable to everyone], you’d pass the test of public scrutiny of how you laugh.

Otherwise the knives will be out to tell you how you are digging your own grave with the faux pas of laughing out loud with concatenated actions of banging the table, clapping the hands, tapping the next person’s shoulders, rolling on the floor, tapping your thighs and 147 more such actions. After all judgement is the second best hobby that humans have developed after the numero uno habit of giving unsolicited advice. I wonder if its because of these social pressures or sheer laziness of our evolving species that these actions have been substituted with words like LOL, ROFL and LMAO and the signature symbol of :D .

At the cost of repeating what I mentioned before, humour is highly subjective and each person has the prerogative to choose what entertains them the most. It can be watching a brawl, watching someone getting into secret confessions after a drinking session, it can be the whole irony of social chaos or simply watching Tom chase Jerry each day. Relish your style of humour and if you find anything funny, don’t hold it back and laugh like Charlie does [ Watch the ‘Charlie bit me’. video]. It would loosen up a lot of tightened muscles and stiff bones.

P.S. Any takers to wake up early in the morning tomorrow to witness laughter club sessions??

For(S)tress

Sundays have a special place in every person’s heart. The only thing that comes close to occupying the mind of an Indian may be a cricket victory or a Bollywood blockbuster, closely followed by the Water/Electricity/Ration/Petrol/House Rent/Fee/Sabzi bills. For the many housewives of this country the second most craved thing after diamond/gold/kanjeevaram saree is a family outing on a Sunday. But this post is not about Sundays. This post is not about any such family either.

Many homes have a debate about the Sunday Outing which sometimes exacerbates the room temperature more than the tyranny at the equator. The kids make a big sacrifice of leaving their evening cricket match with friends and are made to dress up as if the idea is to enrol them for some beauty pageant. Maybe it is these small things that constitute the family bond. But this post is not about family bonding either.

Some families love to go out to gardens and spread garbage there. They take their home sheet, spread it and get the feel of a picnic. While relishing savouries like Chana Chor garam or popcorn, they take it as one of the duties stated in the Directive Principles of State policy rested on their shoulders, to spread garbage at the hangout spot. Others simply choose to go for a movie where, if any of the member (mostly men) doesn't like cinema per se,atleast peaceful sleep wont be denied except for purchase of cold drinks and pop corns during interval. For some families, the idea of a hangout is to go out and eat. That’s it!! But as you may have rightly guessed by now, this write up is not about the places where family hangs out on holidays either.

Before I play too much on the edge with the patience of the readers and the skills of this writer to express my opinions properly, let us try coming to the point. One of the favourite spots for a Sunday trip for families to spread garbage is the historical monuments that bless many cities of our country. Yes, this is the story of one such monument. This is my story- once shining with pride, now whining without prejudice structure, a body with some pieces of flesh left on it but sans the rib cage. I am the “Unchi Dukaan, No more Pakwaan” Kila.

Well how times change, and those who said that change is always for the good deserve a punch from either Rocky Balboa(Even Sunny Deol’s dhai kilo ka haath would suffice).

Let’s rewind a few centuries to get a hang of what I’m talking about:

FLASHBACK in Eastman Colour:

I don’t want to bask too much in the vainglory, but the glory back then was indeed magnificent. I was at my prime, with my edifice rock solid to guard the royal family. I saw the bravest of warriors in my lifetime who were never afraid to fight to protect the cause of their mighty motherland. The essence of royalty was evident in their demeanor as well as in the respect in the eyes of their subjects. I witnessed true blue blood instead of the desperation to bleed blue. I witnessed the strongest of men and the most gorgeous of women. In retrospect, it seems like staying with a different species altogether.

I was given prime importance and even a single chink in my walls was attended to with due diligence. Blood was sacrificed for a cause which was much bigger than just smearing names of lovers on my walls (or are they using just red ink these days??), not that romance was an alien concept then. To put it in a box-of-cookies-without-any-nuts( pardon the eccentricity of the writer, I shall have him fired soon), Life was indeed beautiful then.

CUT TO PRESENT TIME IN BLACK AND WHITE:

After seeing generations pass through and such turbulent changes in the political/social and economic setup, I wonder what else is left for me to see. What is this democracy and egalitarianism farce anyway, cant people have respect for their innate

nature of being ruled??Anyhow, anything said here should not be held against me as I’m strictly apolitical and if that isn’t sufficient for my defence then buy the theory that I’m very old and hence crazy. The only one to beat me as far as age is concerned is my very good friend since those times, Mr.A.K.Hungal.

My importance in the life of people around me has come crashing down over years like my wall on the southern end did in 1436 in a brutal war. My importance has been reduced to the mercy and the mood of the skinny and the fake accent guide who cooks up stories about me which leaves me in splits at times( as if the ones on my walls aren’t enough). Fancy the one where the broken pieces of the wall on the eastern half of the front gate hav

e been attributed to the vandalization caused by the attack in 1442 when the reality is that the strong breeze did the final rites of the already dead wall in 2001. ASI is too busy to notice, maybe still excavating Mohenjo-Daro and Harappa ruins as they find a mention quickly in the history books.

The purpose of people’s visits to my premise couldn’t be more diverse than the agenda of Capitalists and Communists. Just the invisible hand of having a good time is the common thread. Parents bring their kids so that they can understand the cultural heritage of the country as well as the richness of the history that our country has to offer, much to the bewilderment of the kids who somehow just can’t relate to the mystic beauty of the ruins. The Artillery section is the only one where I have seen sparkling eyes of boys who get excited on seeing all the weapons. I can see it in their eyes that they start dreaming about themselves battling it out in those costumes fighting the mighty enemy and emerging victorious to conquer kingdoms. Since people aren’t charged much to visit us because of our supposed importance t

o the country’s heritage, they throng in large numbers and needless to say the larger the visitors, the more employment generation for the cleaners.

I’ve witnessed some of the finest artists this country has ever been blessed with. The artists with their scintillating carvings and paintings have adorned my anatomy over years. The modern day, however, seems to have a clear deficiency of quality artists and thus they are substituted by obsessive lovers who decide to engrave their immortal love on my walls. Although I never asked for it myself, but I have been made part of millions of love stories like Ramu loves Kamala, Pokiri Loves Missamma, Anjaana loves Anjaani and lyrical masterpieces like “Hogi Pyar Ki jeet”. The word spellbound has a new found meaning in my existence now.

The generosity of the lovers does not end here. They take the onus proactively to show me how deeply and madly they are in love with each other with highly innovative ways of Public Display of Affection. One of the first lessons of marketing does talk about understanding the Target Group and then going all out to acquire them and retain them. Well, atleast on weekdays, these lovers are my main audience ( or am I the audience to their escapades, whatever !!). The acquisition and now the compelled retention is proving a tough cookie to digest.

The peculiarity of people who visit does not end here. One such wonderful yet slightly amusing category is of the foreign tourists. They are astonished at anything and everything. I’m not sure it’s the novelty factor or the fact that our guides are wonderful raconteurs, but they leave my premise as if they have just reinvented the wheel. The only sad part about their visits is the illustrations and anecdotes they narrate of all the places they have visited and start comparing me with my competitors. Why wouldn’t a neglected fort like me be disheartened to know that some fort in Rajasthan is so majestic or is still without a sign of ageing? Adding oregano to injury isn’t basic manners, now is it???

Time is an illusion and the mirage does seem to show uncanny things which might not even exist. Even though I’m left in ruins, I live with the pride of being the carrier of preserving the last remains of a kingdom and maybe a civilization for that matter. I’ve been a silent spectator to the rise and fall of generations. I don’t expect one to respect heritage and preserve it, maybe its too much for ask for. The only

courtesy that would be sane to expect is that people would not at least ruin the sanctity of the place that once was a symbol of pride and glory. After all, I may be your last hope of a Time Machine to relive that era.