Love Don't Cost A Thing

The chartbuster JLo song of the same title is certainly an oxymoron. Now i'm neither a love guru or an economist to be pedantic about either of the concepts - love and cost. And neither have i been there or done that to share a page out of my love life. But an apt functionality of my senses is a potent enough paraphernalia for me to have an opinion on this issue; lest not judgemental.

Love is one of the most overused yet one of the least understood concepts we come across. It makes an interesting discussion amongst all circles: age, sex, intelligence - no holds bar. Questions like what,why, how are often discussed; of course with the added punch of if's, but's, whether's, hence's and so's. People love to debate on it and since its not rocket science ( tho maybe a deeper quagmire), everyone has an opinion about it.

Now, does love really not cost a thing???

TAKE 1- Long lost are the days when a guy used to woo his lady by showing her the mirage of a dream castle and an assurance to bring down stars from the sky(cant believe the lady used to fall for it, but it didnt cost the guy anything). THey used to sit in some secluded corner in the soothing shade of a tree evading the scorching sun;with hawkers intermittently perturbing them with their unique marketing skills of selling chana Chor garam or ice candy (Poor guy has to buy one, maybe not out of concern for the lady;but to shoo away this watchdog).





By the way, we still have these hangout spots where couples coochy coo and the witnesses of their oozing affection frown. These lovers provide the best source of entertainment to the pedestrian miscreants, who've nothing better to do than tease them.Maybe not being the one with the lady, burns them up, and vengeance bursts out.

TAKE 2- Welcome to the new age, post liberalization youngistan which finds the former way of expressing love as earthbound. Opening up the economy has opened them up to an all new avenue to express love- commonly referred to as the DATING culture( "Seeing each other", "going out" are synonyms of the same phenomenon). The Gen X and now the Gen Y believe they are more pragmatic with relationships, since they give it more time before they could sing " Janam Janam ka Saath hai, Humara Tumhara, Humaara Tumhaara". Or instead it is "Tujhme rab dikhta hai" that goes better with the Youngistani love birds.

But, now this LOVE (if one can refer to it that ways) does cost a thing. Today's ladies would either kill or dump the guy, if he calls her to meet in an isolated corner of a garden to talk about how they are meant for one another in all their next lives ( rightly so i guess, even the sound of it is gross).
So, the dating joints have shifted from roadside lakeviews and parks to fancy restaurants, coffee shops,discs or lounges. Now here, there are two classifications-CHIVALRY and PRAGMATISM. The former category is the one where the guy is always expected to pay for the lady (STRIKE 1). It becomes a non negotiable agreement- THE GUY MUST PAY. And adding insult to injury is the the girl's PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (SIZE 0 to be precise) which makes her order the whole caboodle, but she leaves most of it untouched. And not only is she cautious about her own figure,but she wants the guy to be meticulous about his physique as well; thus preventing him from hogging like a guzzler.

Now the PRAGMATICS- they pay for themselves, they make sure they order sensibly and finish it and thankfully here the girl'S obsession is in bearable limits. The gospel is "Khao or khane do: the central idea is to have a good time". But still, here as well, the moolah is the cynosure and does creep in as a major factor(thankfully the burden is shared).

The favorite kid of new age india- mobile phones are next in line. Now, people who are seeing each other, have found the perfect companion in this gadget to keep them connected 24*7. Be it In college, on their vehicles, in the bathroom, in the bedrooms(playing with the pillow), standing on the porch, walking on the terrace, climbing up the stairs, climbing down the stairs or while taking food (before swallowing, while swallowing and after swallowing), the love birds just cant have enough of each other. How much closer does it bring them is debatable, but it certainly brings the telecom companies closer to whopping moolah(Fancy Airtel crossing 100 million customer base;major chunk being youngsters). Feeling the ethical responsibility of being the facilitators of the conversations(balderdash actually !!!), these companies keep coming up with offers to lure the young minds and to keep the cash bells ringing for themselves. Now, here the love does cost them a hefty sum if not whopping (STRIKE-2) and of course the bible of love says- getting regular topups done for each other is an integral part of a strong relationship.





The elder sister of mobile revolution, INTERNET- is another avenue to achieve the same. Now, it isn't as brutal as the former because it comes under the cloak of the so called "Internet-Is-So-imporant-for-the-career" psyche and hence cushions the blow. But the social networking sites and the chatting IM's do cost a chunk of the time if not money; the height of preposterous activity being chatting and talking with the same person simultaneously.



The next in the list is -fuel(STRIKE-3). Now, for this there is no count at all. Meeting at diffent joints, taking her for a ride,taking her for shopping, taking her to a movie(Chivalrous- be ready to pay for the ticket as well), going 10 times around the girl's house are paragons of how stealethly love empties the pockets and one even loses count of it.

Moving on, we've the cornerstone and a prerequisite of any relationship- GIFTS(STRIKE-4). We've birthdays, first meeting anniversary (monthly that is),first date gift, first date anninversary gift,first movie anniversary gift, first kiss anniversary gift;the list is more than the count of your hair. Why i adore the Pragmatics is because they dont indulge in this futile ostantatious flaunting, which is supposedly an avenue to reiterate your belief in the relationship (GROW UP!!!!!).




Now comes the icing on the cake- the situation when the partner gets angry and stops talking (STRIKE-1,2,3,4 CONGLOMERATED).You're supposed to do all the above mentioned things to woo your partner, to make her take a way back into love and the expenses shoot up more than when the sensex hits the upper circuit. Like an old classic hindi song of the Amitabh starrer 'majboor' puts it - "Roothe Rab Ko manaana aasaan hai, roothe yaar ko manaana mushkil hai."

Now, the pragmatics being the sensible beings,are intelligent enough to find a way out of all the situations mentioned , so that its not only one out of them to bear the brunt. They are practical enough of not getting grandiloquent in the expenditure.Its the chivalrous group that suffers big time(unless the guy's dad is a multi millionaire). But doesn't it reflect a very sorry state that love somehow never stays the nub of the relationship and materialism takes over??

I always had a question lingering in my mind and there hasn't been a rational reasoning to quell my curiosity. Is there even one logical reason as to why the guy should pay mostly if he himself is dependent on his parents and takes money from them for varied reasons??

Now, i'm not against the concept of dating.I agree that ladies are Archangels who deserve all the mollycoddling, but when its done at the expense of not one's own hard earned money but that of one's parents', that's when i have an issue with it. And its the responsibility of both people involved, to take a cue from the Pragmatics. They need to understand that once they're in a position to be someone on their own, that's when the romantics can kick out the economics out of the window.

The patrons of love, who claim its only the other person's demeanor and assiduous deportment which matters to them, i ask the question that why then do we fall in love with equals or the more well off ones?? Why doesnt a guy or a girl who is mediocre in the basic parameters of the assessment we've inculcated, get a chance to portray his/her demeanor, his/her love?? how often do we care to even give a chance to take them into reckoning?? How often do we care to find his/her nature first and leave aside the conspicuously alluring facets??

I see we mostly ignore it. Lets face it, love is conditional (The Unconditional element sounds good only in silver jubilee blockbusters-but there also the hero falls in love with the leading lady only, never even bothers to find out that her friend may be a better person). We all are that ways, and i'm not asking one to change. Its perfectly acceptable that we all want the best for ourselves: the respective Greek Goddesses and Prince Charmings,we all want stability. But we refuse to accept it. We need to accept that here as well love comes at a cost; at an expense: the expense of a condition and hence is not as pristine as it is made out to be. So, let us be honest with ourselves for once and accept that we're proponents of conditional love. It is high time for us to face reality and stop propagating the spurious theory that "LOVE DONT COST A THING".

NOTE :- The grammatically correct usage is "Love doesn't" and not "Love don't". The usage here is just to correlate with the song. The author wont entertain allegations of misdirection [:P]