"If you are going through hell, keep going" said Mr. Churchill. Yeah, easy for you to say, Mr. Churchill. I wonder if you kept the same spirit after you were ousted from power after the Second World War. I always had an issue with two categories of people- people who present an overly optimistic view of the world as if when you'd step out of your door,people would shower flowers on you sans the thorns, you open your mouth and the world would sit back and listen to the pearls of wisdom you've to offer and most importantly the fact that there are so many around you, who can never have enough of you irrespective of the way you are. Balderdash !!!
now comes the second category- the attention seeking, the melodramatic and full of theatrics people who keep cribbing about the fact that life has been so mean to them and how at every step they have only found debacle to grasp them tightly and smooch them so hard that they lose the will to stand up one more time like a gladiator and fight.
If you belong to either of the categories, I'd simply say- Wake up!! You've seen nothing. If anyone ever decides to live my life for a day would realize how condescending the world can be, how mean and brutal people are and how it feels to bear those disgusted looks of everyone at every moment of one's life. I'm the poor paunch, the belittled belly and the tortured tummy. Don't start thinking of more names now as if the three given already aren't demeaning enough. Now you listen to my story(Flaaaaaaaaasssssssssshhhhhhhhhhbbbbaaaaaackkkkkkk)
My inception is always an issue of high contention and constant altercation. I don't even know who exactly led to my birth- sometimes I'm attributed to brazen guzzling, sometimes to hereditary problems, sometimes to the lack of exercise and the self proclaimed intellectuals, for the lack of a better thing to do in life, use all their theories to obfuscate it further by mixing the theories.For them their theories might lead to laurels and patents, but they don't realize the excruciation they impart is inexcusably blatant. Imagine the jinx of one's life whose birth has been blemished by hypothetical theories. Can it get any worse? Of course it can- read on.
(Back to present day)
I always am the subject of prying eyes wherever I go. Its like a tradition, an unsaid ritual which makes the person I reside in highly embarrassed and he'd inflict tyrannous torture to obliterate me. I don't know if its a sadist pleasure of the human species that is satisfied with this, but Ab-crunchers??? I can't even imagine doing that to my step cousins- six pac or the newly born eight pac and size zero. Imagine someone sets you steady and then folds and unfolds you constantly until you get all dizzy, is it a sane treatment to anyone??? Talk of human rights!!!! What about ours??
Since the time these step cousins came up, life has become nothing short of HELL for me. Constant peer pressure, too high expectations to perform, constant evaluations and regular visits to my crematorium- the slimming centres, gym and health clubs is what my life has become a victim of. Even my social circle is diminishing at a staggering rate, and may reach extinction soon. Before I finish this autobiographical account, few of my distant relatives would have lost a couple of inches of their life. Please save us- only 14", 11" left.
Its not that life has always been that cruel on us- there were times when we were attributed to prosperity and people who gave us abodes were considered to belong to be coming from booming families. There are still a few proponents of this school of thought, and they are the ones who belong to a coterie of people with great clout, but the betrayal of one of the vanguards of this revolution cost us big time and our revolution started falling like a pack of cards. Adnan Sami down down !!!!
It is really surprising to see how people can be so nonchalant and disinterested in the plight of the lives that reside in me. How can they simply turn away their faces from this ghastly act of blotting out my tenants- carbs, fats and lots of sugars without even a proper rehabilitation program. That's a clear case of homicide especially considering the fact that the one who does it celebrates it as one of life's biggest achievements. I'm falling short of adjectives for such gory psyche of people, and they are the ones who talk of egalitarianism, CSR and what not. Height of hypocrisy!!
I've a humble request to all of you- even we've feelings, so next time you visit a gym please remember you are not only burning carbs and fats, you are burning out emotions and bringing an end to a civilization. This entire fad of size zero, six pacs, metro sexuality is preposterous and just a gimmick. You must take cue from the school of thought that we indeed are an indicator of prosperity. I want you all to introspect and confess to yourself- wasn't it pleasure of sumptuous food, wonderful laziness during early mornings that gave birth to us. We gave so much happiness to you even before we were born, please don't terminate us from the face of the world.
Oh God, I've to go. My boss is going for a gym session, so I may never come back again. Just remember my words- Make Life FULLfilling.
