The Setup- An elliptical table conference. Was supposed to be round table, petty issues stretched too much made it this way. The office is the Home Ministry.
People- Home Minister, Chief Ministers, Naxal Leader.
Agenda- You have to be kidding me.
The Home Minister tried to make everyone feel at home. The sugarless biscuits made everyone feel otherwise. A late probe by the CBI revealed it was a mix of the Austerity Drive and high sugar price. Opposition Chief Ministers clamored taking out the blank protest banners hidden under their kurtas and wrote this agenda on it, UPA CM's blamed the EU and Australia for racial discrimination in exports of sugar, peon took a shot at the Ration shop retailer, others simply blamed fate for making them diabetic.
Home Secretary :- Ladies and Gentlemen, lets put the meeting to order (" To Disorder" is what he thinks in mind). Words like "Telangana, Vidarbha, Gorkhaland, bad tea, cobwebs in the room, my mistress better than yours" should be left to the informal post lunch forum. Sattar(70) Minute, sattar min hai tumhare paas. Shayad yeh.. tumhare zindagi ke sab se… khaas sattar minute.
( Jharkhand, Chattisgarh CM's couldn't hide the giggles- stare from the Home Minister)
Home Minister(referred to as Homey from now on):- So should we start with the Naxalite leader or would the CM's like to put a point first?
Andhra, Orissa, Jharkhand, MP, Chattisgarh jump into it simultaneously and the sound is something like this- My Andhra Pradesh/ screwed up Jharkhand/vandalized Chattisgarh / MP is responsible/ for Orissa's labour crisis.
Home Minister loses it. He stands up with grit and a lot of aggressive intent and says in his South Indian accent- Mujhe states ki naam na sunayie dethe hai, na dhikaie dete hai. Sirf ek mulk-ka-naam sunayie detha hai, I-N-D-I-A
( Gujarat joins the giggles with Chattisgarh and Jharkhand)
The NAXALITE leader was wondering why did his men have to die and kill when there were so many volunteers, he still stood up and said) - Mao Zedong once said.....(he was interrupted)
TN CM woke up, decided maybe there were media cameras around, so he ought to say something, says plight of Tamilians miserable in Sri Lanka.
Homey- Issue in next meeting
Maharashtra- Thackerays getting out of hand.
Homey- Next meeting.
Rajasthan- Gujjars threaten again.
Homey- Next meeting
Naxal Leader- Mao Zedong said....
Homey- Next meeting.
Karnataka- Sri Ram Sena has to be dealt with for beating women.
Homey- Next meeting.
Goa- More foreigners raped.
Homey:- next meeting.
Naxal Leader- Mao Zedong said....
Homey- Next meeting.
(West bengal and Kerala CM's whisper the wisdom to the Naxal leader's ears- " Try quoting Marx - worked for us always"!!!!
Naxal Leader- Kal Marx said....
Homey- Can't you think something of your own, its been 40 years since your fight started. You still quote the same old shit. Seems like a warm place with no memory.
Kerala and WB CM's giggle, whisper to the Naxal leader again- Can't believe you bought that. Noone ever listens to Communists in this country.
Arunachal Pradesh, Mizoram, Manipur, Sikkim go on plucking the rose petals kept on the table and keep mumbling- " We are in India, We are in China- We are in India, we are in China- We are in India, we are in China".
Homey- Can't we come to the agenda now?
Karnataka rises and says- Isn't it time for lunch now?
Home Secretary jumps into this mayhem and says- Please everyone focus on the agenda here. The country has their eyes set on us.
Everyone in chorus- Is it? Damn you planted cameras here??? How much did NDTV/Times Now/ CNN IBN/Doordarshan bribe you??? ( Like you believe the last one has enough to bribe)
Home Secy- No sir , I didn't mean literally.
UP - yeah... we hate Literature. We want no computers, we want no English. Pass on our budget and we shall leave. We've some statues to build you know.
The chaos continues. Homey decides to bring in some discipline. Rises up and says our police force is not competent enough to fight invasion.
J & K- Tell me that. I asked one of the personnel to shoo away the cat that stealthily came into my bedroom and he couldn't even do it. We need better security.
WB- We need reforms.
Uttarakhand- We need loan waiver.
Assam- We want higher NREGA share.
Gujarat- I want some more cookies please. My plate has been empty for long.
Homey loses all hope. All he could say is - Next Meeting !!!
21 comments:
Awesome Dude!!!! :) reflects exactly the attitude of our leaders... i loved the part of MP being responsible for orrisa's mess... Dude keep it up... Its hillarious...
good work...a wonderful satire...ur the man boss...heed my words become a writer...you have both the power of observation and an ability to put it in a subtle manner..
A very good one buddy... A great satire on today's politics. I feel your style of writing (here) somehow has an uncanny resemblance to that of Jug Suraiya!!! Great going!
maslahat-aamez hote hai siyaasat ke kadam,
tu na samjhega siyasat, tu abhi insaan hai...
i hope our ministers soon realise that ministries for home, finance, tourism, law, defence, external affairs, etc are for the country and not just for their personal utility! was an interesting read! keep it up! :)
great quote man ....
but nothing knew this thing is going on in india for years now every one knows all about this but good to read it in a comic note atleast something useful came out of their bloody useless meetings of these useless leaders .
my favourite parts were many but the best part was the gujrat ask for cookies..
keep writing
Signore! considering every issue which you have focussed on..may i have the honour to say that in a democratic state where we are pledged to follow the constitution "of the people,by the people,for the people" how can the goverment[inc the central and the state] afford to to pay more attention to their own vested interests when the STATE[INDIA]is surrounded by burning nations..isnt it imprudent on their part to discuss domestic issues instead of internationale agendas??!!
The read was an absolute delight. I could actually visualize P.C do a la chak de prep talk with the Sattar min line :) I noticed that the manner of presentation of each blog post of yours in the recent past is different from the previous. good work!! I hope to continue to be smitten by the style of your writing in each of the lined up next meetings/posts :)cheers!!
Whoa Whoa Whoa, one of the best works of sarcasm I have ever read !! Low on preaching and an out and out critique of the happenings of every part of this country. I second another of your fans - become a writer. And do us a huge favour by adding meaning to the large amount of worthless data being created by so many less gifted writers.
Har team mein sirf ek hi gunda ho sakta hai aur blogger pe tum ho. Tumhari jagah na toh koi le sekta hai na tum kisi ko voh de sakte ho.
awesome!!!!! the read is simply awesome.... the blog reflects the true picture of the ministers in a hilarious way... the best line i liked was about the eastern states plucking petals "We r in India, We r in china"... nice work man... keep it up i m looking forward for something more mind-blowing in the "next meeting"
My My My.. great mockery.. this post made my day.. keep it up:) you rock man!
Very well done!! The 'Dr. Strange Love' poster has been used very aptly here. And as the movie showed, may be this is the problem everywhere, and has been there since long. You captured details so well. Now since you wrote so nicely, looking forward to more satire and comedy from your side ;)
Real Nice boss...
It was a great read and the way you covered everything was truly impressive. Seems like you really have a knack for this...as is evident from your other posts as well.
Looking forward to more such reads in the future...
indian ministers presented in good humor makes it worth a read...reminds me of the serial yes minister or indian version of ji mantriji....
howvere on a serious note isnt that the case where in we the people select the people as ministers and think that our job is done and only crib about them for five years.
Y not people vote for the right candidate and evaluate them properly before changing them.if a LS election all over india just gets 52% vote out this is what our expectations should be isnt it.
as it is said by maddy in RDb..agar desh badaln hai to khud ko badlo..utho aur kuch khud karo...
However no offences to the writeup though.
@Bro
senti ho gaye yaar tum toh.. bacche ne toh naadaani mein likh diya.
hmm nice observation..u know this is same everywhere...we as unitedly cannot take a decision, but if v want to make that happen then it can only b done wen v hv a good and promising leader..may b like Hitler..i know our future is bright and era is changing who knows wht will happen in future...nyways nice article keep it up..
I was falling from my chair, Laughing like mad, office mates starring and I'm Laughing this is really waht I always thought about the Satttar and @krishnakantj had captured is so beautifully... hats off Master and Lo ---> "Pajji Tussi Great Ho, (O!O) Toff Kabul Kaaro".
Again a feather of good post in ur Hat!!!
Good observation.. Like in previous post "Knock Knock.." everybody wants a listener, same is the situation here..
Everyone is trying to prove his leadership quality.. everyone wants to be listened to him first & this thing always create chaos.. wid no conclusion at last..
Power of words can change one's mind.. but being practical, to tackle any problem only one solution is ur leader should be a good listener first..
Lets hope we 'the Youngistan' are going to change this situation.. we should choose a leader who can put our points moulding wid the situation & can take correct decision instead of making the conference concluded on 'Next Meeting'...
good work !!
:)
Wonderful piece of satire..
Especially the ending -
"Gujarat: Can I please get some more cookies?"
Muhahahahhahahaa ..
But, on a serious note - one cannot fathom what the list of priorities is when it comes to such meetings other than the pre-decided objective of wasting public money and unnecessarily hyping unimportant issues!
A very jocular rhetoric and so consummate so as to make our politicians hide in shame! Nothing much to say. Hillarious, fun to peruse and brilliant enough to muse upon. I was actually remembering the stuff you wrote when I was travelling which made me laugh all the way and made others think I was paranoid!
Rightly said by Karan. Kill Jug Suraiya. Take his place! :P
Doordarshan bribe you??? ( Like you believe the last one has enough to bribe)
ROFLMAO ... Awesome Work Boss :D
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