Unique 'eunuchs'

Oh God, not again !! Why this restlessness, anxiety with a motley of evasion, unwanted tension whenever an eunuch comes across- this time in a local train in Mumbai.

Flashback- During every journey to Udaipur in train across Gujarat have I encountered an eunuch coming up asking for money. They are boisterous, loud, dressed in bright gaudy sarees animatedly clapping as though in a clamour procession. They come, make sure that no stone is left unturned to embarrass you- they'd pull your cheeks ,whistle, stroke your hair and make sure you give some breathing space to your pocket else the ignominy could get worse.


But I wonder why do we tend to get helpless when it comes to dealing with them? One shoos away beggars as though they don't exist, one feels compassion towards kids who beg, one feels sorry for the incapacitated who're forced to resort to ask for money to make both ends meet. But why does a eunuch not evoke any such feeling? Why are disgust, grimace, embarrassment, flummox the adjectives which come to my mind on any encounter with them? Am I being too cynical ? One may say so but every experience just reiterates this feeling.

Flipping pages of our history, its clearly elucidated that eunuchs were very important for the kings. They were given the responsibility of the security of the queen and her female friends. On our visit to Golconda fort, I remember the guide clearly telling that men were castrated to make them suitable for this job so that any kind of sexual advances towards the female presence in the palace can be put out of contention. So be it castrated men or transgenders, eunuchs had a lot to offer to the society. But why did it change with time? Their importance was no longer felt and they had to resort to begging, prostitution or dancing. The 21st century eunuch is hardly seen as an active member of the society. They are treated no better than beggars and somehow they haven't tried too hard to shed this image either. They crash on weddings, child births and other auspicious family occasions and demand for money. It is a highly held belief that they've occult powers and their blessings and curse both have tremendous power. So you may call it people succumbing to these beliefs or simply trying to evade the scene that they tend to create, they offer money and bid them good riddance.

Now a eunuch can either be a transgender or a castrated man. This avenue of quick money has made many men perfectly normal but short of money to dress like a eunuch and charge. They beg on traffic signals, trains or gate crash functions to earn this money. Its not the prerogative of eunuchs to beg but somehow the entry of normal men into this business has exacerbated the scenario. In a country where the voting rights to eunuchs was bestowed as late as 1994 and which claims to be the only country where the term still holds pertinence( rest all have switched over to LGBT or castrated men), we ought to do better to provide them an alternative.Its not asking for too much, is it?

Shabnam Mausi led the bandwagon when she became the first eunuch to be elected into a public office. She became an MLA in one of the constituencies in Madhya Pradesh. She tried to work on a lot of grounds; right from the emancipation of women to creating awareness about transgenders and HIV. But even she couldn't mobilize the issue of bringing human right laws for eunuchs in our country. They are still looked down upon as the third gender- "cursed for their sins of the past life" in the words of our antediluvian proponents of the society. They are living a deteriorated life both socially and economically and have to create a parallel world of their own. Maybe this is the reason why they behave the way they do. Maybe this is the reason why they choose to stick to begging and create ignominious situation for people as that may pacify the schadenfreude in them who wants to take the vengeance for this sorry life. One million is a huge number and can be a useful resource if proper programs are implemented. Why can't they have normal day jobs, normal work schedules, normal shopping experiences, normal outings without prying eyes??

SRK once said in an interview his dream role would be to play a eunuch on celluloid. Shabnam Mausi(movie) and Welcome to Sajjanpur did try to talk about transgender rights. Late Nirmal Pandey one an award for the best actress( Yes !!! actress) for his performance in Daayra. Yet cinema, considered a powerful medium, has shied away often to come out in open to support this cause. I've seen no govt. coming out with an agenda on this issue and I've slim hopes in the future as well. But its high time they stand on their feet as well without being myopic just because of the quick buck.

They can no more be reactive and expect things to change, they've to be proactive and earn their respect. I may have just touched the tip of the iceberg, but they have to make sure that they no more remain murky waters.

Let's Talk

The Setup- An elliptical table conference. Was supposed to be round table, petty issues stretched too much made it this way. The office is the Home Ministry.

People- Home Minister, Chief Ministers, Naxal Leader.

Agenda- You have to be kidding me.

The Home Minister tried to make everyone feel at home. The sugarless biscuits made everyone feel otherwise. A late probe by the CBI revealed it was a mix of the Austerity Drive and high sugar price. Opposition Chief Ministers clamored taking out the blank protest banners hidden under their kurtas and wrote this agenda on it, UPA CM's blamed the EU and Australia for racial discrimination in exports of sugar, peon took a shot at the Ration shop retailer, others simply blamed fate for making them diabetic.

Home Secretary :- Ladies and Gentlemen, lets put the meeting to order (" To Disorder" is what he thinks in mind). Words like "Telangana, Vidarbha, Gorkhaland, bad tea, cobwebs in the room, my mistress better than yours" should be left to the informal post lunch forum. Sattar(70) Minute, sattar min hai tumhare paas. Shayad yeh.. tumhare zindagi ke sab se… khaas sattar minute.

( Jharkhand, Chattisgarh CM's couldn't hide the giggles- stare from the Home Minister)

Home Minister(referred to as Homey from now on):- So should we start with the Naxalite leader or would the CM's like to put a point first?

Andhra, Orissa, Jharkhand, MP, Chattisgarh jump into it simultaneously and the sound is something like this- My Andhra Pradesh/ screwed up Jharkhand/vandalized Chattisgarh / MP is responsible/ for Orissa's labour crisis.

Home Minister loses it. He stands up with grit and a lot of aggressive intent and says in his South Indian accent- Mujhe states ki naam na sunayie dethe hai, na dhikaie dete hai. Sirf ek mulk-ka-naam sunayie detha hai, I-N-D-I-A

( Gujarat joins the giggles with Chattisgarh and Jharkhand)

The NAXALITE leader was wondering why did his men have to die and kill when there were so many volunteers, he still stood up and said) - Mao Zedong once said.....(he was interrupted)

TN CM woke up, decided maybe there were media cameras around, so he ought to say something, says plight of Tamilians miserable in Sri Lanka.

Homey- Issue in next meeting

Maharashtra- Thackerays getting out of hand.

Homey- Next meeting.

Rajasthan- Gujjars threaten again.

Homey- Next meeting

Naxal Leader- Mao Zedong said....

Homey- Next meeting.

Karnataka- Sri Ram Sena has to be dealt with for beating women.

Homey- Next meeting.

Goa- More foreigners raped.

Homey:- next meeting.

Naxal Leader- Mao Zedong said....

Homey- Next meeting.

(West bengal and Kerala CM's whisper the wisdom to the Naxal leader's ears- " Try quoting Marx - worked for us always"!!!!

Naxal Leader- Kal Marx said....

Homey- Can't you think something of your own, its been 40 years since your fight started. You still quote the same old shit. Seems like a warm place with no memory.

Kerala and WB CM's giggle, whisper to the Naxal leader again- Can't believe you bought that. Noone ever listens to Communists in this country.

Arunachal Pradesh, Mizoram, Manipur, Sikkim go on plucking the rose petals kept on the table and keep mumbling- " We are in India, We are in China- We are in India, we are in China- We are in India, we are in China".

Homey- Can't we come to the agenda now?

Karnataka rises and says- Isn't it time for lunch now?

Home Secretary jumps into this mayhem and says- Please everyone focus on the agenda here. The country has their eyes set on us.

Everyone in chorus- Is it? Damn you planted cameras here??? How much did NDTV/Times Now/ CNN IBN/Doordarshan bribe you??? ( Like you believe the last one has enough to bribe)

Home Secy- No sir , I didn't mean literally.

UP - yeah... we hate Literature. We want no computers, we want no English. Pass on our budget and we shall leave. We've some statues to build you know.

The chaos continues. Homey decides to bring in some discipline. Rises up and says our police force is not competent enough to fight invasion.

J & K- Tell me that. I asked one of the personnel to shoo away the cat that stealthily came into my bedroom and he couldn't even do it. We need better security.

WB- We need reforms.

Uttarakhand- We need loan waiver.

Assam- We want higher NREGA share.

Gujarat- I want some more cookies please. My plate has been empty for long.

Homey loses all hope. All he could say is - Next Meeting !!!

U, Me Aur Cellphone

Sitting in the bus I was looking around if I have any interesting companion as a co-traveller so that a filmy story's seeds may be laid. Lady Luck, who seems to be relishing playing the role of agony aunt on this front, decided the jinx should continue. So I rested back on the seat waiting for the "cleaner/driver/owner/whatever" he was guy to switch on a movie. In the meantime, the decibel levels took off from the launch pad all set to defy the law of physics that light travels faster than sound- it was the chattering of the fellow passengers. The competitiveness appeared as if they have appeard for a reality show- Clamour your way to glamour !!!

So my peace was deliberately trampled upon by these messengers of Satan who found it a defiance of morality to see someone at peace. I decided to scare them with a stare,but their appearence made me decide against it. The next plan of action was to join the bandwagon (ego boss even I wanted my shot to fame to win this nonexistent reality show). So the eyes wandered around to find if there was a soul willing to listen to my wisdom. But noone seemed interested. Vanity had worked hard to climb the stairs of a skyscraper and now it was thrown down from the terrace without slightest of compassion. Then I noticed where the root of the problem was- Vanity found a parachute, honour was resurrected, faith on humanity and its intelligence was restored. What kept the shout wasn't the clout of the fellow companions, they were all instead busy with themselves. The power lay in their hands- the duniya was literally in their mutthi- it was their cellphone.

Sehwag's mother succeeded in motivating him to win a match for the country using the cellphone, Rehman created a new age anthem for the mobiles. The world is not enough for the growing influence of cellphones. Coming back to the crime spot (where there was an attempt to kill my vanity), seeing almost everyone busy with their phones made me draw a mental blank page divided by an imaginary line to illustrate- Before and After. Let me show it to you-


(This is a hypothetical conversation. Any resemblance is purely coincidental)

Before

X:-Hello, My name is X. .
Y(wondering if X's parents didn't love him to keep such a name) .
- Hi there, I'm Y.. I'm an engineer/actor/lawyer/doctor/loser by profession.
What do you do?
X( making sure that he still has the upper hand):- I'm studying life!!!! .
Y thinks with such a name, was X really left with an option??
And the conversation takes off from there.


Now
X(on his phone) :- Hello, Haa this is X here. Can u listen to me?
Y(on her own phone):- Sweetheart I'm sick of listening to you all my life
X:- But I thought we had a deal
Y:- Either that bitch would live or me.
X:- This is extortion.
Y:- I call it emotion
( and the sound mixing continues much to the amusement and fun of onlookers, if there are any)

"Addiction is fatal, but so was monotony, right? So why not get addicted and die". The rod of power is in hands now (no pun intended). Cellphones have spread their empire from the Riches to the wretches. I wonder how this revolution has changed us so much that we just can't resist the temptation to keep our hands busy ( no pun again). Personal wishes have been replaced by texts, grammar has gone for a toss, people don't care to befriend co-passengers ( go back to the crime spot) and we've found a way to keep ourselves busy. This luxury of the past has become an amenity to stay connected. When I was a kid, parents were cautious even to hand me over a glass plate with the fear that I may break it, now parents don't mind handing over expensive cellphones. Change is sweet and delicious only if you are part of the effect cycle and not the necessity one.


I'm a victim myself of this addiction and I believe cellphones would stay- for geeks as a fascinating technology, for majority of people as a means to stay connected, for cynics as only commercial business and for those who don't know which bracket they belong to- for them cellphones would be a mode of amusing experiences.

आदि से अंत तक

एक शब्द चल पड़ा है, उसी का ये प्रवाह है,
मिलता है उसे अनुरूप संग, यही रस का प्रभाव है|
अर्थ हो, अनर्थ हो, रहे ना कोई आसरा,
ये साज़ का सम्बन्ध है, ये मन का ही लगाव है|

हर चिंगारी का अंत निश्चित है,
अगर संग वायु का अभाव है|
पर अपने किनारे तक बढ़ते रहना ही,
सत्यकाम की दृढ़ता से परिपूर्ण नाव है|

शाश्वत नहीं होता है कुछ भी,
परिवर्तन सृष्टि का स्वाभाव है|
योद्धा रण से नहीं मन से है,
यही तो अविस्म्रणीय वेदों का सुझाव है|

वो सोच स्तम्भ बन सके नहीं,
जिसपे परिस्थितियों का दबाव है|
परिणाम का परिमाण करना,
धैर्यवान में जलती लौ की चाह है|

प्रतिस्पर्धा में प्रधान केवल,
विजय का ही भाव है|
जीत का ही हर तरफ वर्चस्व है,
हार तो सिर्फ एक चुभता हुआ घाव है|

कर्म के पथ पे तो,
बरसता ही पथराव है|
फिर भी अडिग चलने की चेष्ठा करना,
ये एक वीर का चुनाव है|

अमृत मंथन की लालसा में,
खोया सदियों का उन्माद है|
इसमें उलझे रहने से बेहतर तो,
विष पीने में ही प्रह्लाद है|

शब्दों की इस रचना की शक्ति का,
किसी को नहीं आभास है|
क्रांति नहीं पर सोच जीवित रहे,
बस इसी का ये छोटा सा प्रयास है|

Knock Knock...Anybody there???

"Mom please purchase the cricket bat and I'll study properly and clean the room all week"
"Comeon u know that I share everything with you because you're my friend"
"Sweetheart it appears to me that you never pay attention to what I say"
"You're an adolescent, it doesnt mean that you know everything, you've to listen what the elders say"
" I've faced so many difficulties in life, God never listened to my prayers"
" The biggest failure of my life is that noone pays heed to what i say even in my own house"

Now they are different scenes in the play of a person's life, different acts that unfold one after the other but there is a nexus in these phases- aspiration for a listener to attend as to what we've to say. Every individual has a certain way of thinking and for him/her that thought process is distinctive from all the fellow beings, which automatically gives him/her the anxiety to share it with others. We're social beings and the social fabric has become so labyrinthine that the intermingling and interdependence has increased viz a viz the last generation. During their stint with society, the families used to be so big that it was a mini society in itself. People had way too many people around at home only to bother about others. But with migration and exposure to a wider world, society gained a more structured form and found its relevance. People found people they could relate to and talk to about what they feel, how they feel and why do they feel what they feel. It is part of the human nature that he is himself incapable of keeping everything within. Call it outsider's perspective, call it an open mind prepared for new ideas or call it a simple unburdening of thoughts, we've always looked forward for someone to share our plight with.

But as the need for an aggressive listener became stronger, so did the yardstick for him. This complaint kept exacerbating that there is noone who's actually willing to listen to all that we've to offer and say. There is a common chord that intersects which keeps saying "Nobody's listening". So as a kid my demand for a cricket bat or an extra chocolate is never thought of being catered to and my plea is never heard which makes me wonder why dont parents listen to me, after all I'm not a kid( which I eventually am at that stage).








Our voyage in the outside world begins and initially its the birds of the same feathers that flock together. We develop a rapport with like minded kids( criterion may be fav actors, fav cricketer or it may simply be the food in his/her lunchbox. We look out for refuge there and we set out with our long list of complaints about how the world is so mean to kids( Now it is a common syndrome- we conveniently choose the situations where we shrug away the idea of being a kid and the situations where the idea of being a kid comes as the only resort to evade a spanking, so we determine it as per our convenience as to whether we are little kids or not).

Even when we grow up, for many of us friends are the listeners we seek out for instead of parents. Be it the ideas that the young mind is bubbling with, the I-know-what-it takes-to-succeed thinking or the so called personal problems- ranging from post puberty hormonal overtime work or a spat with a girlfriend to the failure of finding a purpose in life , we're always on the lookout of someone to talk to. But the quench is never really satisfied maybe because almost everyone whom we want to talk to, is undergoing the same phase and wants to talk about his/her problems as well.So again the feeling reiterates that why isnt there anyone who's willing to listen to what I've to say.

A different scenario but suffering from the same syndrome is the relationship of a man and a woman( I restrict it to lovers and married couples here). They are fundamentally so different in everything that after the hunky dory phase of the relationship is passe, the time comes of building a sphere of compatibility, a domain of adjustments so to say. One of the prime facets of this is to listen to the partner.




Now men by default aren't great listeners and women have a knack of sharing what comes to their minds. Now this chasm can really deepen if not catered to quickly with a firm bridge to mellow down the temperaments. The failure to do so is what we witness in the form of common marriage counselling ,seven year itch or moving out of the relationship. There is a common complaint amongst the fairer sex that Men just dont listen and that puts a roadblock in the process of ameliorating compatibility. To put it in a nutshell, not finding a listener certainly spells doom's day even here.

It is found to be a common phenomena in social circles for people to go gaga about their kids. How often have we not witnessed in parties that men and women keep lionizing the laurels of their wards and the listeners just dont seem interested because they've a story to tell about their own child. So things like "Mere bete ka IIT mein admission hua" " meri beti ko job mein raise mila" or "humne toh keh diya ki US mein kuch saal hi rehna" are met with cold and indifferent reception.








The listener stays there out of courtesy, but the bodylanguage and eyes wandering elsewhere clearly resonte the please-complete-your-story-i've-one-of-mine-to-narrate-as-well message. So it becomes agonizing for parents as for them the kids at home dont listen to them out of pure resistance of adolescence, and in the social circle noone actually cares as to whether your ward has been there and done that.

A friend of mine was given this assignment to interview a group of corporate hochos to talk about their journey. What came as a rude shock to her and to me as well when she narrated the experience was people around their 40's pouring their hearts out in front of her(a student) describing the pages of their personal lives. Now what exactly must have led them to do it? They surely didnt expect a 21 year old to give them a solution to the crisis in their lives. Was it simply the solace of telling everything out to a complete stranger who wouldn't be judgemental or was it simply an irresistible outburst of what we perceive as mid life crisis?The outburst may be shocking but brings us back to the fundamental hypothesis- people want someone to listen to them.

But why do they need anyone else to do it? Are they too scared to talk to themselves( introspect)? Do they know that they may be in for a rude honest answer if the conversation is carried with oneself? Is it simply nothing but the fact that they are looking out for sympathy and no judgement because nothing else explains spilling the beans of your personal life to strangers. We do see people around us who love to talk and who if neglected or ignored for a while during a group meetup become restless and their bodylanguage tends to go completely haywire. They just cant have others not listening to them. Why is that exactly? Why so much anxiety to be heard? Maybe its just an avenue to bring something out of the system completely.





Maybe that explains aggressive listeners become friends fast with people. People tend to repel the ones who like to talk more about themselves in the first meet and prefer those who give the oppotunity for him to talk.



Leave aside humans, we constantly crib that even the Almighty doesnt listen to us and conveniently neglects what we really want. This quest for a listener is ubiquitous and no matter how much we deny it, we want it. Call it a syndrome, call it insecurity or call it a way of life, the bottom line is we all crave for listeners and love it even more when they echo what we say. Maybe we are not really looking for a mirror but just a karaoke!!! So the knocking on the doors is going to continue....Anybody there?

PAA

"We don't see eye to eye on many things.But Dad, I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either. It's 'cause I'm the same. You know, I can be just as hardheaded and just as tough. I only hope I can be as good a man as you are." - October Sky

This line clearly epitomizes the terrains on which a father son relationship travels. It is probably the most intense, complex and subtle relationship in a man's life. The equation can never be expressed properly with the right adjectives because it has an uncanny enigma associated with it. From the time a little boy starts to understand the nuances of life, the first hero he envisages is his father. For a kid, everything that his father does,sets a benchmark that even his favorite actor can't emulate. Be it the style of amble, be it the way he talks, be it his style of reading newspaper or be it his demeanor with his office colleagues. How many of us haven't tried wearing the shoes of our father after he was back from office? How many of us haven't used his shaving brush to shave our then non-existent beards? How many of us haven't tried copying his signature( not necessary for forgery :P ) just to feel that sense of power? I can honestly confess here that for me, even his style of smoking was the best possible way one could smoke. There was a sense of amazing panache in everything a father did that its imitation gave a surreal satisfaction. For us at that age, he is the person we really want to be (immaterial of our minds vacillating to pursue everything from medicine to engineering to flying to cricket to even becoming an astronaut ).

As we grow, the respect and the awe never goes down, but the relationship transmogrifies to a more intense and mellowed level. The father, who has himself sailed in the same boat, understands exactly how the temperament of an adolescent boy works and he also understands the fact that if that is not kept in right check, it can succumb to nefarious influences. Now, here the chasm starts to deepen. There are myriad difference of opinions on the most trivial of issues as the boy is in an age where everything seems impeccable and accomplishable. The feeling complemented by a sudden rise of ego and an indefatigable spirit, when finds a resistive force in the form of his father's experience, doesn't try to cogitate over it but deviates to insurgency. What adds on to this conundrum is the stoic expression of emotions. On one hand, whereas the mothers(sweethearts that they are) have a conspicuous expression style, the fathers weigh their words on every occasion making sure that there isn't a deluge of emotions flowing. So your mother's ecstacy over any of your laurels would certainly be communicated to her friends in morning walks, kitty parties, over phone or office get-togethers. She'll prepare the best of delicacies to celebrate the occasion. Fathers on the other hand, will express their happiness over it but will simultaneously give you a cautionary message of not becoming complacent and to keep working hard as success is ephemeral. His discussion about your laurels with his colleagues would be centered around how can you improve on your current accomplishment and the entire conversation would be sans exaggerated encomium. So moms would be all smiling and ecstatic, hymning the tunes of " Arey mera beta, I'm so proud of you. We should thank God that you've achieved this fete. You worked so hard for this. Tell me what do you want now as a gift?".




Now fathers would watch all this histrionic tsunami of emotions("Khushi ke aansu") and when you look towards him with all the expectations of a song of eulogy, all you get is " Good Job son. Keep it Up". That's it? I mean seriously, that's it? Wasn't it to accomplish this fete that i was lambasted by you time and again for the lack of effort, and now all I get is a " Good Job". Well that's how a father- son relationship is!!!


But what is the reason behind this comport? The reason is pretty simple -He has been there and done that. He knows where can we get lost and hence he is our guiding light to make sure the limelight isn't headed towards the Road to Perdition. A father's sole intention is to be the avenue of reality check for his boy, he just cannot afford to get sentimental about his kid as he clearly understands the fact that a bit of toughness today is the only way the boy can graduate to a man. A classic line used by many fathers when we try to outsmart him and the connivance is caught- " Beta, Aakhirkaar main tera baap hoon". Point duly noted and appreciated boss.

For a guy, there can never be a more educative, informative or a more wise promulgation of ideas than there is discussing with his father. Right from discussion of world politics to how human psyche is, how one can be duped in life or how to make sure that productivity of work can be maximized, dads know it all. They really do. Now, its not a matter of education or literacy, its sheer experience of life that equips them to share these pearls of wisdom. Now I'm not of the opinion that fathers are always right, but they mostly are and their judgment rarely goes wrong, especially when it comes to gauging their son. How many times haven't your father posed a challenge in front of you and you took it as a man to man thing and over a period of time you realized - "Gosh!! He was again right. He knew i wont do it." They just know it, don't they? And if you spring in a surprise by proving them wrong, well his loss is still his victory. Integrity, Honesty, self respect, astute acumen, smartness, diligence, conduct we learn all these traits directly or indirectly from him. No wonder that we find the anecdotes of his college instances to be really fascinating. There is an inexplicable sense of pride when you come to know that your father actually slapped someone. A flurry of questions with a sense of disbelief comes to your mind and you are like - " Really? Why? When? To whom? What then? Oh My God?" and the last question comes in " Why do you ask me then to stay away from all this?". You are beaming with pride thinking -"That's my dad!!!"





A father son's relationship has a lot of depth in it. Now can a son and a father really be friends? I think people misunderstand a father who is friendly to a father becoming a friend. Both the phenomenon are clearly discrete. A father can be friendly to make sure you have a sense of comfort to promulgate your opinion and ideas, but he certainly is not a friend because there is always a sense of respect, awe and and even fear that persists, which is certainly essential.



You need a person whose thought at any juncture of your life, can make you think twice before you choose a wrong path. His Halo shines with you forever. He's not only your ATM to withdraw money from as and when required to fulfill our necessities and even luxuries, the real asset that a guy gets out of his father is his purview over the scheme of things.


There have been so many movies in the past based on a father son relationship that've tried to capture the panorama of this relation's roller coaster ride. Be it the warmth of the relationship in The Pursuit Of Happyness or be it the intensity in The Godafather and its Indian counterpart Sarkar series, father-son relationship has been captured emphatically. Who can forget the scene in Lakshya when Hrithik calls his father(Boman Irani) and apologizes for letting him down, and the way Boman Irani says that he's proud to have a son like him.Low on words and emotions, but high on expression!!! Be it the altercation in Shakti or be it the
any door's story in Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, there is high voltage, low resistance action involved in this relationship.



Sometimes it takes a road to perdition for the discovery of how much they care for each other, and sometimes it needs an adventure to find nemo ot discover how much they mean to each other. To put it in a nutshell the relationship doesnt rely too much on words- it is a relation of unsaid words, unexpressed emotions, and temperamental collisions.

Its very important to understand the fact that even though boys are meant to be close to their mothers(which they certainly are) because of the comfort, warmth, patient listening, quick melting of heart that they get. Fathers on the other hand are the source of strength. I bet that the most disturbing scene you can imagine in your life is your father in tears. Just imagine it and you feel a sudden excruciating gloom in your mind. This is just not meant to be, for us he is the source of power and seeing him down can be the most enervating thought.

This is the circle of life where the journey, from the time you start to learn walking holding his hands to the time you become the hands to support him, provides a meaning to your life. Just close your eyes and think of your father, you experience an uncanny power in yourself. Need I say anything more? Understated yet extraordinarily conspicuous is the journey of PAA and his son.

The Last Lap !!!!!

"Come On, You're almost there........
Don't let go of it now........
You've worked so hard for this........
There is no one else who can do it.......
. You are meant for this.......
. Just push a little harder and the victory is yours........"

Welcome to the Last Lap!! After every possible endeavor has been done, after every stone has been turned, after every drop of sweat has been profusely spent and after a roller coaster ride of a big adrenaline rush- comes the last lap. There are so many sports where this last stage differentiates between "WHO IS" and WHO COULD'VE BEEN" .This difference, which is decided in split seconds at times, marks a clear distinction between the champion who takes it all and the runner up whose dead heat loss would haunt as a nightmare in the future. It is the stage that defines a gamut of traits for the road map of success immaterial of the goal one has chosen to pursue. This stage demands gruelling physical balnce and tremendous mental calmness, it demands proactive motivation and the optimism to be a finisher and not a choker. It demands self belief that can bog down the weight of expectations carried on the shoulders and it demands the mental toughness to still focus on the target inspite of all these things running in one's head to accomplish VICTORY. After all, who wont want to end up being the one to open the champagne's cork as a sign of pride and a symbol of supremacy? The winner gets the gold, everyone else simply live with the consolation.

The likes of Michael Schumacher, Lance Armstrong, Usain Bolt, Mohammad Ali, Sachin Tendulkar, Zinedine Zidane have been the legends who've faced the music of this gruelling stage for many years and they not only learnt to live with it, they made it dance to their own tunes. All these consummate legends share the trait of speed, agility, focus, diligence, power, toughness and dogged determination to make it through the last lap of their battle and emerge as victorious Spartans. Their examples reflect that one needs to be equipped with these essential traits to be the last man standing. But what if you don't have any of these traits and you're suffering from many ailments- mentally and physically and are left with no purpose in life. Even the other end of the victory post looks nebulous and you aren't even sure whether the destination is a sign of victory or defeat.

Welcome to the Last Lap!! Forget speed, forget proactive motivation, forget optimism, forget toughness and forget focus. Here you're now in the last lap of the circle of life. The last lap of a person's life is the absolute opposite of what a sport's last lap represents. After embarking a very long journey with myriad ups and downs,content or discontent, fulfillment or regret, laurels or ignominies, comfort or struggle, a person is left with the memories that provide him/her a window of retrospect to look back at the time spent. Its not that anything would be changed on looking back at the road travelled so far, but maybe it is the platform to move away from what might have been the cause of all problems- DENIAL!! Guilt and redemption are positive traits because they make a person move a step away from DENIAL and towards ACCEPTANCE.









Life is a great leveller and the best testimony to this facet comes in the dusk of life. Be it a hedonist who relished the cornucopian luxuries or a mendicant who always lived in a hand to mouth state in life, the last lap is a struggle for both.Just put yourself in the shoes of an 80 year old person who has lived a satisfactory life and has performed all the responsibilities expected by the society and commands the respect of the people who know him. But that was in the past, what next? Is comfort a sufficient substitute for purpose? Is existence good enough to make us forget about life? Imagine the struggle each day presents where one really has little to contribute or convey. What exacerbates the situation is the prevalence of various ailments. The lack of pupose is worsened by the prevalence of various problems such as vision or hearing impairment, dementia and a big list that i really dont want to get into. Picking only the normal vision and hearing impairments, imagine how difficult can life get when communication becomes difficult. Imagine the jolt to a person whose opinion has been sought after all through the life and now the person can't even be part of a normal conversation. Imagine looking around all day but getting nothing more than a hazy picture of what is around. Immobility, dependence and growing altercation with the family(just to fight with one's own frustration) are repercussions whose thought itself is pretty depressing. A person's prowess rises and sets like the sun and the dusk is really a difficult time to deal with even though the twilight may give sporadic reasons to celebrate.



This is the stage of life when a person transforms from a reader of spirituality to its aficionado. Maybe the process is a bit late in the day, but the little drops of tranquility that thinking about God, morals and virtues give them is the perfect way to sprinkle purpose. This is the stage where the grandchildren become their best friends and a small session of talk or a little laugh with them becomes the purpose to spend the remaining days. They look forward to these sessions and it is the time that makes them forget everything else.








This is the time when the mind transcends and there is an uncanny trance in their minds which is inscrutable for others. This last lap is diametrically opposite to the last lap we talked about earlier as here even the definition of victory isn't known. It might be a silent death for some without being any trouble to anyone, it may be trying to fulfill that one last wish that has been impending for long- the bucket list that was long forgotten. What lies beyond the final line is still an enigma for everyone, but maybe unraveling this mystery is what provides the long missing purpose in their lives.

Now I'm not here to question or empathize or educate anyone to work for ameliorating their plight. I'm no pedant. It is a rambling that came to my mind and I decided to put it in words. I don't expect anything out of others and I wont ask anyone to do anything. A sense has been gifted to everyone which works and if listened to properly, it directs in the right path. The last lap is an inevitable process of life and has to be dealt with. Change is a nature of life and one generation has to make way for the next one and if this is the way chosen for it, then let it be. Maybe a smile next time you see an old person might be the trick. After all, even this small gesture can give them a purpose to move on.

But there is one common aspect in both the last laps i mentioned- there is a persistent struggle and at the end of the day everyone does cross the finishing line. There is a similar perseverance and there is a similar patience. The victory doesn't matter in the latter case. A feeling of ACCEPTANCE is the perfect denouement to the scheme of things.


Anyhow is there still a last man standing????